23.12.15

Riflessioni sul tempo che passa

E' passato anche il solstizio d'inverno.
Per quanto questa stagione sembra essersi appena affacciata, ed io immagino il freddo che deve ancora venire, so benissimo che in realtà, da adesso in poi, i giorni si allungheranno di poco e la luce crescerà sempre di più.

E' difficile ogni cambiamento, senza distinzioni
E' il tempo che passa che è difficile. Non perché non voglio invecchiare, ma semplicemente perché mi affeziono alla mia realtà, e persino quel presente, che a volte sembra pesante, una volta passato acquista il tipico fascino nostalgico.  



L'ho letteralmente capito guardando una mia foto da ragazza, quando vivevo un presente divertente, ma faticoso interiormente, che mi vedeva galleggiare in superficie, soprattutto cercando una magrezza che era già in mio pugno e una bellezza che non sapevo di avere. Riguardando quella foto mi sono sentita così bella! Come sicuramente mi sentirò tra qualche anno riguardando le foto di questi giorni. Ed ecco che ho trovato l'interruttore giusto. 



Ora so con certezza di essere bella (*), e che quei travagli, preoccupazioni, fatiche (anche interiori) allo stesso modo della bellezza, saranno guardati e ammirati con nostalgia e amore, quindi lascio sgorgare adesso, nel momento presente, quella stesso sentimento di perfezione quale davvero l'attimo presente è. 



Ecco perché ho imparato ad affezionarmi al presente, ecco perché amo la vita in ogni sua angolazione, seppur la più faticosa. Ecco perché mi reputo fortunata. 

Poi vedo i segni del tempo, che non sono le rughe, ma mia figlia con il piede più lungo del mio, con il suo piglio indipendente, con l'andatura sicura e mi dico che davvero ADESSO è la perfezione.

In questi giorni non facciamo altro che ascoltare canzoni Natalizie, essere avvolti da lucine ed atmosfera calda, immaginando il giorno in cui si scartano i regali e si gode della compagnia reciproca. I bambini stanno letteralmente contando le ore mentre io le sento scorrere via.



Voi che relazione avete con il tempo, con il tempo che passa e quello che deve arrivare? Vi amate così come siete? 

Manca un pugno di ore al Natale, godiamocele in attesa.

(*) bella: parlo di quella bellezza unica e speciale che ogni essere umano possiede, lontana dai canoni estetici di massa, non misurata dai chili o dalle forme. La bellezza che illumina gli occhi, che rende speciale ogni lineamento anche il più imperfetto, che trasuda fascino da ogni ciocca, da ogni forma o ruga presente. 

p.s 
Oggi, ben quattro anni fa, arrivava di notte Edoardo. Ha scelto lui stare con noi e tuttora, ogni giorno, afferma con forza la sua presenza e la sua volontà di esserci. Ha cambiato la nostra vita.





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28 commenti:

  1. Io ho imparato col tempo ad apprezzare ogni singolo momento della mia vita o almeno ci provo. A volte penso al passato con un pizzico di nostalgia ma non vorrei tornare indietro. La perfezione è ora qui nella mia vita , in ogni istante anche se faticoso e non sempre gioioso ma è qui ed ora...Buon Natale a tutti

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  2. Carissima, anche io cado nella nostalgia guardando vecchie foto e idealizzando momenti passati, poi arriva la memoria a ricordarmi i miei travagli interiori e tutto riprende il suo posto :)

    Ps: Nella tua foto da giovane sei uguale a Dafne <3

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